Chapter 4 Shit Happens

CHAPTER FOUR

Shit Happens

Debbie is a 40 something widow with 2 young boys.  For several years after her husband died from an illness she sheltered her boys and gave up any sort of a normal social life.  Debbie was devastated by the sudden and fatal illness of her husband.  She stops by Starbucks on occasion after she drops the boys off at school or is not doing carpool that day.   Debbie is an attractive blonde haired woman with a nice figure. My Jewish mother would call Debbie a typical “schicksa”.   A former cheerleader, she still has that upbeat personality.

Debbie joins us on this day; she walks by us quickly to the café, giving a quick smile and wave hello as she enters to get her coffee.   When she returns, she stops briefly to talk to Stacy.  Stacy tells her about our party next week.  Debbie thinks for a moment and then says “I think I can make it, the boys are actually with my sister that weekend. But I need to get something to wear”.  Stacy tells her to check with me. “Debbie, do you know Larry?  You should check out his car, he usually has some nice clothes in the trunk.”  Stacy says.    “Really, let me see.” Debbie responds.

Debbie follows me along with Stacy to my car and checks out the array of clothing I have in my trunk.  There must be a dozen different shirts and dresses wrapped in plastic in my trunk. We pull out a few different t-shirt dresses before Debbie finds one she likes.  She shows to Stacy for approval.  “Stacy what do you think?” She asks seeking approval.  Stacy tells her it is perfect for her.  They both take items back to the Starbucks bathroom to try on. 

When they emerge about ten minutes later, Stacy says “Debbie looks so hot in the dress”.   Debbie has a shy grin on her face as she hears the compliments. She pays me for the dress, thanks me, and says I will see you all at the party.  It was a quick visit.  But for me, a sale nonetheless.

Debbie lives in a community not too far from Starbucks. She is writer for the local newspaper. She does not work full time, instead she lives and supports the boys with the widow benefits she receives from her husband. She has a hard time and many issues that still revolve around her loss.  She wants a social life, but only on her terms. Unfortunately no one she meets can compete with her dead husband. 

After seeing Debbie a few times at Starbucks and then at social events outside of Starbucks, she began to speak with me regularly.  Asking for advice about her boyfriends or ex-boyfriends or blind date.  Asking me from a male perspective.  “ Do I text back? Should I return his call?  Is it ok to drunk test? Why is not calling me?” she will ask.    Periodically, I will receive a random text to my cell phone asking for advice.

Debbie has had problems dating.

Debbie dated her neighbor Anne’s ex-husband Joe for a short while.  Unfortunately for Debbie, Anne, thought the dating began before the divorce or even the separation.  Anne called Debbie out in front of their neighbors. A serious verbal altercation occurred and the local police came by to calm the situation. 

A few days later the word “Slut” was written across Debbie’s front door.   Debbie could only surmise where it came from.  She scrubbed the door clean and moved on. She spoke to Joe about the incident. She pleaded with him “please talk to Anne”.  “Please set her straight!” she demanded.

I suppose there was a conversation because, after a week or two of quiet between the neighbors, a package was left at the door for Debbie. It contained dog shit. 

Debbie finally broke it off with Joe, and found other guys to date. 

She became quite fond of the boys baseball coach. She would get into conversations with him at the ball field.   Coach Ron, was the father of one boy who was the same age as Debbie’s oldest. They weren’t the closest friends but they were teammates.

Debbie dated Ron for several weeks, we all knew at Starbucks when Ron and Debbie went from being friends and fellow parents to boyfriend and girlfriend.  We also knew when they had sex for the first time.  Unfortunately, it was not what Debbie expected it to be like.  They were really good friends. But, the sex thing sort of changed the dynamics.  And since the sex did not blow Debbie away, she had regrets.

Ron wanted to become closer, Debbie started to create distance.  Debbie would find reasons to be too busy to get together.  She needed her space to sort things out and to figure out how she could go back to the way things were.

“I just don’t feel the same way about him” Debbie would say to me one morning at Starbucks.  “It was nice when we were just friends, now I don’t know”.

Then one morning, Debbie announces “I am going with Ron and the boys to Colorado for the holiday”.    “Ron paid for the trip”  she added.  “ I don’t know if I want to go” she pondered. “I really don’t have that strong of feelings for him.”  “I really need to find someone else to date”. She decided. 

A few weeks later, Debbie came to Starbucks sad, depressed and stated “ Ron dumped me” . “Why do these things happen to me?” she asked the group.

We were of course all somewhat sympathetic.  But we did remind her, “Debbie weren’t you planning to leave him?”  “Yes, but not right away” she replied.

Then she turned to Stacy, “would you like to go to Colorado with me over the holidays, I got to keep the trip”.

Debbie turned to me and asked, “do you think it’s wrong for me to keep the trip?”.  Needless to say, she went.